Well, I passed the 36 week milestone this past Tuesday and have ventured into the full-term world! My 36 week OB appointment was an interesting one to say the least. I knew going into it that I would be checked internally to see what’s going on down there. But, what I totally didn’t except was for the OB to say, “You’re 2 centimeters dilated.”
Wait. What?! I can’t even begin to express how much that news was like a huge dose of reality. Of course I knew that I was close and that I’d be meeting my little one soon. Until that moment, I guess it just didn’t hit me that meeting my little one could happen any day now. And, unfortunately, that dose of reality brought a lot of my insecurities and fears to the surface.
Will I be a good mother? Will I feel awkward? Will I feel that connection to him immediately? I admit that I’m a worrier and have struggled with anxiety before. I will also admit that I can be a bit of a control freak. (Yes, I will admit it, haha!) So, feeling anxious and emotionally out of control is not a good combination for me.
Needless to say, since then, I’ve been in this fuzzy emotional state and have decided that waiting sucks. I think (hope) that I’ve been getting better each day. I just have to stay strong and just keep telling myself that I will do the best I can.
And, for anyone struggling with anxiety or any type of hardship, I can’t express how much just talking to someone helps. Thank goodness for my dear, sweet husband and my mother.
Phew, let’s recap 36 weeks, shall we?
- Total weight gain: 20 – 21 pounds.
- How big is the baby: Honeydew – yum!
- Sex: Baby boy!
- Maternity Clothes: Zilch. Nothing new.
- Sleep: Thankfully, with the exception of a couple nights, my sleep has been better this past week or so. And, I am so thankful! I am not the same person without my sleep.
- Best moment of the past two weeks: Without a doubt, my baby shower. The day was just awesome.
- Movement: Yes, though sometimes I get nervous because he feels like he’s sideways.
- Food Cravings: This is boring but, truly, nothing specific.
- Baby Bump: Yes, I have a cone shaped bump but I embrace it and it’s odd shape.
- What I miss: Feeling normal – or, at least, normal for me. With all the odd physical changes and now all these mental changes, I just want to regain some sense of normalcy. I suppose I’ll just have to figure out my new normal once little one arrives!
- What I am looking forward to: LABOR!
Well, what can I say, I’ve really failed at taking weekly progress pictures. I’ll blame that on the fact that my husband isn’t here whenever the thought strikes me. So, here I am in my half bathroom at 37 weeks. Yes, I just took this. Yes, my belly is shaped like a cone-head. Sexy.